Fighting is a natural part of any relationship. It’s impossible to avoid disagreements or differences of opinion; sometimes, these can escalate into full-blown arguments. While it’s easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment, it’s important to fight fairly to ensure that both parties feel heard and respected.
Here are three tips for fighting fairly in relationships:
- Listen actively and empathetically: Listening to your partner is one of the most important aspects of fighting fairly. Hearing what they’re saying without interrupting or dismissing their feelings is essential. Try to sit beside them and empathize with their point of view. When we’re in a heated argument, it’s easy to get defensive and feel attacked, but it can help to de-escalate the situation.
- Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements: Another way to fight fairly is to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, saying, “I feel hurt when you ignore me,” is much more effective than saying, “You always ignore me.” The latter is accusatory and can put your partner on the defensive, while the former expresses your feelings in a way that’s more likely to be received positively. Using “I” statements also takes responsibility for your feelings rather than blaming your partner.
- Take a break if necessary: It’s essential to know when to take a break. If the argument is becoming too heated or one or both parties are becoming too emotional, it may be necessary to take a break and cool off. This doesn’t mean ignoring the issue or sweeping it under the rug but taking a step back to gather your thoughts and emotions before continuing the conversation. Communicating this to your partner is essential.
In conclusion, fighting is a natural and inevitable part of any relationship. However, fighting fairly is critical to ensure both parties feel heard and respected. Couples can navigate disagreements and become stronger on the other side by actively listening, using “I” statements, and taking a break if necessary.